Quit Being A Bitch.

At the store, again today, I went about my normal business. Getting groceries, letting Sam help with the list and with the self check out. She is learning about nutrition and how to scan barcodes, and getting really good at using the debit card. She even knows my pin!

I had to go up front to the lady over the self check out, and She said something to me that really got me thinking. She said, "Thank you for being so patient with your daughter. Too many parents walk through these lines and reluctantly let their children help then yell at them when they don't go fast enough."

I had never really thought about it. That is just the sort of lifestyle we live, somewhat slow paced. Some days are more rushed, getting from point A to point B, but never so rushed that I don't have the time to cruise down the freeway doing 55 in the slow lane and playing the Guess Animal Game with Sam.

Now I am thanking God that Jessie and I both learned while Sam was still young, that children are a gift from that God wants us to enjoy life with.

I'm not saying things are always easy. I have yelled at Sam, but that sort of stuff is virtually non existent in our house now because of one little sentence I read a long time ago
 I use it as my rule of thumb. I will share it with you, but it will probably be the one and only time you will hear or see me cuss. Here it is: "Quit being a Bitch." That's right.just stop it. If you can't be mature and act in the Godly way you want to train your child to act, then don't even worry about it. You might stop the mess they are making or make them walk inside faster, but you will do more permanent damage than momentary "good." 

The lady in the article I read was saying that one day her daughter was pouring milk by herself. First glass ever, and she wanted to show Mommy! So she did. And she said as her daughter poured the milk, she spilled milk over the sides, so she went and got a towel, started wiping it up as her daughter poured. Then when she spilled more, she yelled at her to start being more careful. "How careless! Just stop! I'll do it! Let me-" then she stopped and thought, "Quit being a Bitch. Your daughter just got her own glass and poured her first cup of milk, and you are yelling about spilled milk?" By this time her daughter was crying. Something so exciting had turned into tears. And she said from then on, she would always stop and think that one sentence before she started yelling. 

It has been a long time since I read that article, but it has been life changing for me. I think twice before I speak now. I think, "How is Samantha feeling right now?" She was washing pots and pans earlier this week. Of course she spent twice as long rinsing them as I would have liked. I was tired. I just wanted to dry them so I could sit down. I mean, good gracious, it's a pot. Why would you want to spend any longer rinsing it than you had to? Then I thought, "It isn't just a pot to her. It's a REAL pot. A GROWN UP pot. She probably never wants this to end." My patience instant rose because now I understood her. I kept my big mouth shut, and she finished shortly after that. There was no yelling or her saying, "You hate me!" Nope. We gave hugs and kisses after that. I reminded her of what a good job she did, and we went on to have a wonderful night. If I had opened my big mouth, the rest of the night might have been ruined over an extra 60 seconds spent rinsing a pan. So there it is, folks. This is my " magical power." This is what gives me patience. I even use it with my Husband. :)

"Be slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20