Quit Being A Bitch.

At the store, again today, I went about my normal business. Getting groceries, letting Sam help with the list and with the self check out. She is learning about nutrition and how to scan barcodes, and getting really good at using the debit card. She even knows my pin!

I had to go up front to the lady over the self check out, and She said something to me that really got me thinking. She said, "Thank you for being so patient with your daughter. Too many parents walk through these lines and reluctantly let their children help then yell at them when they don't go fast enough."

I had never really thought about it. That is just the sort of lifestyle we live, somewhat slow paced. Some days are more rushed, getting from point A to point B, but never so rushed that I don't have the time to cruise down the freeway doing 55 in the slow lane and playing the Guess Animal Game with Sam.

Now I am thanking God that Jessie and I both learned while Sam was still young, that children are a gift from that God wants us to enjoy life with.

I'm not saying things are always easy. I have yelled at Sam, but that sort of stuff is virtually non existent in our house now because of one little sentence I read a long time ago
 I use it as my rule of thumb. I will share it with you, but it will probably be the one and only time you will hear or see me cuss. Here it is: "Quit being a Bitch." That's right.just stop it. If you can't be mature and act in the Godly way you want to train your child to act, then don't even worry about it. You might stop the mess they are making or make them walk inside faster, but you will do more permanent damage than momentary "good." 

The lady in the article I read was saying that one day her daughter was pouring milk by herself. First glass ever, and she wanted to show Mommy! So she did. And she said as her daughter poured the milk, she spilled milk over the sides, so she went and got a towel, started wiping it up as her daughter poured. Then when she spilled more, she yelled at her to start being more careful. "How careless! Just stop! I'll do it! Let me-" then she stopped and thought, "Quit being a Bitch. Your daughter just got her own glass and poured her first cup of milk, and you are yelling about spilled milk?" By this time her daughter was crying. Something so exciting had turned into tears. And she said from then on, she would always stop and think that one sentence before she started yelling. 

It has been a long time since I read that article, but it has been life changing for me. I think twice before I speak now. I think, "How is Samantha feeling right now?" She was washing pots and pans earlier this week. Of course she spent twice as long rinsing them as I would have liked. I was tired. I just wanted to dry them so I could sit down. I mean, good gracious, it's a pot. Why would you want to spend any longer rinsing it than you had to? Then I thought, "It isn't just a pot to her. It's a REAL pot. A GROWN UP pot. She probably never wants this to end." My patience instant rose because now I understood her. I kept my big mouth shut, and she finished shortly after that. There was no yelling or her saying, "You hate me!" Nope. We gave hugs and kisses after that. I reminded her of what a good job she did, and we went on to have a wonderful night. If I had opened my big mouth, the rest of the night might have been ruined over an extra 60 seconds spent rinsing a pan. So there it is, folks. This is my " magical power." This is what gives me patience. I even use it with my Husband. :)

"Be slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20

Some People Think I Sold Out

I ran into an old guy friend at the store tonight at the store. We were talking and it was brought up that I don't work. He said, "Oh, Stay at Home Mom?" I said, "Sure am." AND que the silence.

It seems like so many people think I sold out, being a Stay At Home Mom. The way I like to think of it is that I didn't BUY IN to modern views on the family structure.

Sure, I could have gone to school and got a four year degree and got a job straight out. Made good money. Been able to go on lots of vacations and have plenty of money in my savings and checking. But there was nothing else I truly wanted to do. I wanted to stay home. That is what I WANTED and STILL WANT to do. I wasn't forced into staying home so that we didn't have to pay for daycare. It isn't a guilt thing. And Jessie didn't beg me to do it. We agreed to it before we even started trying to have a Baby. And we have never strayed from that belief that that is what is best for our Family.

We have both fought for me to stay home. When Sam was younger and we were living on a lot less than we do now, there were times where we weren't able to spend a whole lot of Christmas. We couldn't go out on many dates. And you could forget going out to a nice dinner mores than a few times a year. As Jessie moves up in his line of work, that isn't much of an issue anymore. But there are times that our savings account doesn't have very much in it. We didn't have thousands of dollars put away to fix my car when the motor blew, so we had to pay on credit cards for a little while. Yes, occassionally Jessie works a weekend to get that little something extra, like a nice vacation or Christmas money. (I also do things to earn money for this sort of stuff. Generally, babysit.) And there are times we have to say, "Sorry. We can't go out to eat with you guys this weekend because we are low on money."

But it is all worth it. Every time I get to see Samantha overcome another obstacle. Every time I see her smile or have the time to just sit and watch her play. Watch Samantha slowly, slowly grow into a young lady. Being able to stop and smell the roses every day. Being able to volunteer my time, follow my passion, while also being home. I can't imagine any other life.

Plus, on a side note, being a Stay at Home Mom is my guilty pleasure. ;) I do it for Samantha, but I am also thankful that I enjoy it so much. I Love doing just about anything Susie Homemaker does! I like cleaning and baking. Cooking and crafts. Decorating for seasons and holidays. Making lesson plans. (Not sure if that one counts.) I Love the little groups and playdates in the day time, when the playgrounds and other places are empty. I like spending Beautiful days with Samantha outside and not having to wait until the end of the work day. I Love Blogging and Reading or doing a Bible Study on the couch during nap/quiet time. I Love serving my Husband. And trying my hardest to make our house into a warm home that our guests feel welcome in.

I didn't sell out. I am living my dream of serving my Family in our Home.

If we do not have family dinners, Samantha will do drugs!

This is what I always joke to Jessie, but honestly, I have a reason for saying it. Family meals are vital to family closeness. When families eat together, it is proven that they eat healthier, talk more, and have more meaningful conversations, as well as closer relationships. To this day I remember having family meals when I was small, and I truly believe that did a lot for me in my formative years. (However, it is never too late to start.)

From time to time I do research on random topics, and tonight I chose the topic of family dinners. I was appalled to say the very least on what I found tonight!

Statistics show that the average parent spends 40 minutes a day playing with their child? 40 minutes? Playing with your child? To me, that is mildly disturbing. I know that parents want to spend lots of time with their children, so what is taking the National average down so low? Is it just the way that our World is today? All the running here and there and getting things done. Why only 40 minutes? When most of us spend more than an hour a day on the Internet or reading a book?

Here are some ways that I Love to play with Samantha and also involve her in housework:

1. Board Games

2. Coloring/Drawing Together

3. Going Places-The Library, Playgrounds/Parks, Museums, or Volunteering Together

4. Playing Outside, Tending the Garden, Going For a Walk Together

5. Allowing her to assist me with Cooking, Baking, Decorating, or even Cleaning

6. When going on errands, letting her help to scan or bag items, maybe throw in some math in there, talk about all the foods we are going to make that week or month. Letting her put the debit card in the ATM or start the car.

7. Bed Time-Playing Toys in the Bath, Reading Before Bed, Drawing on the Marker Board, Talking, Praying, Singing

8. Even just watching her play, letting her know she has my full attention.

9. What makes my daughter the happiest is when she hears me say YES to something I might otherwise say NO too if we were in a hurry. "YES, we can skip down the sidewalk or hop over the cracks!" "YES, we can go look at the fish in WalMart." "YES, you can help me make this Lemonade or Laundry Detergent."

and

10. FAMILY DINNER!


I have found if we take the day slow, there are so many opportunities for her to join in even while getting things done. And those are the things that Samantha will hold on to and remember.

The second thing I found discouraging is that the average family also only spends 12 minutes per day having a meaningful conversation with their children. There are so many meaningful things to talk about! Why only 12 minutes? Does it go back to the busyness of everyday life?

Everybody has a different definition of meaningful talk, but to me, meaningful talk means beyond the "what I did today" conversation. (However, that is also important to stay connected and know what is going on in their lives. My daughter has not made it to the age where we are away from each other for long periods of time. She will be 5 this month, but she is homeschooled, so she is with me all day. However, I love to hear her tell her Daddy about her take on our day. As she grows older, I know she will be spending more and more time in groups and with her friends, and as we go our separate ways and don't talk, we will begin to drift further and further away from each other.)

Here are some ways that I have found to have a meaningful conversation: 

1. Spiritual Growth-Discussing a part of the Bible or a devotional read that day. Maybe something that happened in a small group at church. A breakthrough after a sermon.

2. Current Events-It is neat to keep up with current events, something to talk about over dinner. I don't mean anything political necessary. In fact that sort of stuff bothers me, so we generally discuss something that interests all three of us, technology.

3. Ideas/Opinions-Sharing ideas or opinion on current events, things seen throughout the day, the future, etc. 

4. Shared Knowledge/Stories-Sharing knowledge on things such as different cultures, history, art, science topics, recently read books, anything really.

5. Also, if it helps at first, purchasing a pack of Dinner Conversation Card Topics would be a great start! Here is something that might be on a card for older children:

Questions for discussion:
* How do solar panels save energy?
* Would you consider using solar panels for your home?
* What are some ways you can conserve energy around the house?

I would like to end on a positive note to encourage families who don't already eat frequent family dinners together to do so, and here is why. Studies show that:

• The entire family structure is healthier overall and children feel much closer to their parents. 
• 
  
• Teens are less likely to engage in rebellious behaviors such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sexual activity. 
•  
• Kids and teens also seem to have fewer emotional or behavioral problems. 
•  
• Kids who eat dinners with their parents maintain a healthier weight.
•  
• The entire family practices healthier eating habits.
• 
  
• Everybody has the chance to engage in meaningful, uninterrupted conversation.

*Note: Family dinner outcomes are more effective when the TV and other electronics are off or on silent. Family dinner for us means sitting down to a made table, with a healthy, homemade meal, and eating/talking for at least 45 minutes-1 hour.

*Last Note: Our family does a lot of running at nights between extra curriculars, Bible Studies, etc. at least 2 nights a week. So to offset the time needed to cook after getting back from whatever activity, crockpot meals are the answer for us. Chili, Stews, Soups, Lasagna. There are so many possibilities. It saves money and is much healthier. It also allows us to gather back around the table and chat about the day after a busy night.
 Sources:

This is a good site that tells how to connect at mealtime, before, during, and after:

http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/family_meals_matter%E2%80%94staying_connected

http://thefamilydinnerbook.com/

http://www.today.com/moms/back-basics-why-family-dinners-matter-8C11037673

Earth Fare and Grocery Shopping

Today we took our first actual shopping trip to Earth Fare. (We have been a few times, perusing and buying a few items, to see if we wanted to start shopping there permanently.) But today we was our first "official trip."

The Adventure Begins

Cutest Thing-Kid Sized Buggies!!!

Deciding Between Organic Snacks

I must say, starting out that the one thing that truly stands out about Earth Fare is their customer service. So friendly. Understanding. And helpful. I went in, clueless as to where things were and how it all worked. I barreled through anyway and found what I could. I was asked several times if I needed help, and was assisted every times. One man actually lead me all around the store, trying to find what I needed. We talked about the difference between Natural and Organic. He told me about the History of additives and preservatives. And about some of the studies they have done on the effects of those things. 

Everything in the store just LOOKED healthier. The packaging, which I know is just marketing. The color of the food, more natural, less dyed! Just all around, more attractive, to me anyway.

Which brings me to my second point, the environment. It was amazing. Just one of those places that SCREAM "CRUNCHY MOMMA!" The health and beauty area, smelled AMAZING. Everything so-pure. Bar soaps you can cut off as much as you want. Lotions made from goats milk. Organic shampoos that are truly 100% organic. I'm losing myself in a fantasy here...Here are some pictures of the store:

I just Loved all the signs!

"Because it is not worth playing chicken with your health."

Buying By The Pound-Pastas, Grains, Etc.

Organic Cheeses-YUM!

Spices

The Final Verdict: I TRULY enjoyed Earth Fare, and I'm not going to lie, I really like the status that goes along with shopping at Earth Fare.

I have been going back and forth all day with weather or not I will go back there to grocery shop. I feel like I am paying for the environment. (Given that the noodles and canned foods I buy at WalMart are both "All Natural," but they are 5x the price or more at Earth Fare.) The amount of things I would buy from Earth Fare, Samantha's snacks, Deli Meat, Milk, and healthcare products, like my Shampoo and Castile soap for detergent...I am not sure if it is worth the trip to Tennessee. I would do all my shopping there but I just can't pay for the environment. Although our $250.00 monthly budget will stretch enough to buy the natural and organic, it can't pay for the higher prices at a specialty store. Even if I could afford to pay for the environment, I don't think I could bring myself to do it.

Now, not to say that it would work better for everybody that way. Because it really depends on your diet. Like we eat a lot of noodles, rice, and vegetables. We can get the same stuff at WalMart and the Fruit Stand for cheaper. But if another family ate a lot of prepackaged foods and snacks or made more extravagant recipes, they probably would not be able to find the Natural stuff at WalMart and would need to go to Earth Fare to find healthy alternatives that went with their diet, but it just isn't beneficial for us. So I am torn...opinions?

With all that said, I still scored at Earth Fare today: (Got $16.00 off using coupons and special offers.) I spent $60.00 on everything. (And the deli meat was $10.00 of that.)

4 Containers of Juice, an Organic Coke for Jessie-He can't believe they make Organic soft drinks. Spaghetti Sauce, Italian Dressing, BBQ Sauce, 4 Packages of Noodles, Cereal, Butter, Sour Cream, and 1 Pound of Turkey ALL Natural/Organic

I also went to WalMart, where I get my Natural canned foods-vegetables I cannot find at the fruit stand, and can't grow myself. (We are trying to move away from canned foods and go for fresh vegetables from the fruit stand.) I also got some stuff I knew was cheaper at WalMart, like my Natural Cheese and my Organic Chicken.

Ingles, where I get my Natural meats.

And last stop, the Railroad Produce Stand.  My favorite stop. All local. All organic. All affordable.

Here is what I scored there: (I spent $24.00.)

15 DOUBLE Yolk Eggs-so 30 Yolks, Bell Pepper, Bananas, Tomatoes for Turkey Sandwiches-The organic turkey meat at Earth Fare is AMAZING, Lettuce For Sandwiches, Corn As Dinner Sides-Again, trying to move away from canned foods and go for fresh., Potatoes for Mashed and Fried Potatoes,  Homemade Pickles with Jalepenos, and Homemade Strawberry Jam. All Homegrown Without Chemicals or Pesticides!

This is how I store my produce now. Decorative and Resourceful. We Love the country look in this house.

And here is our refrigerator and cabinets, all Organic/Natural!

 

My House Is Now A Home!

My dream finally came true. I got the one piece of furniture that I always believed would make a house a home, and that is an entryway table. You heard me right. I believed with all my heart that is what would complete MY house. None of my family had that in their homes. But I watched a Halloween movie when I was younger and they had a small entryway table decorated for the holidays. I always wanted that, but bigger, for lots of pictures and it will help to have a place for holiday decorations. When we bought the house, I decided on the perfect spot and there it sits now. A sweet friend gave me the table because her in laws gave it to her and it was just sitting in their garage. So I took it home, stripped it, and painted it. It looks like a different table. It isn't professional quality, but it looks good and the only thing I had to do was pay for materials, which I had almost everything I needed from when I did the dresser. That beats the $300.00 it would have been new! That is why I Love gathering old furniture from family and friends and turning it into something we can use.

Here it is:

The mirror is going to be on the wall above it, along with some canvases with pictures of Sam and dandelions, thanks to Christina for taking some Beautiful ones. And each season we will do seasonal decorations. Now to finish the rest of the living room and the house will be complete!

Homemade Detergents

Today I went over to a friend's house and we both made homemade cleaning supplies for the first time.

I have to say it turned out pretty well considering the fact that neither one of us had tried it before. I did my research first and spent lots of time looking for the right ingredients.

I had a little trouble finding soap. I would have preferred Castile soap to make it more pure, but ended up getting Zote, which I have read works too. Next time I will try to get Castile.

I made small quantities to try and will make more if I am still satisfied once I use it all. I am sure the recipe can be doubled or tripled to make larger amounts.

Here is what I bought: (All available at WalMart on the detergent isle.)

Borax (Approx. 3 Dollars)

Washing Soda (Approx. 3 Dollars)

Zote Soap (Approx. 1 Dollar)

Laundry Detergent Directions:

2:1:1 This is what I found on another blog-easy to remember.

2 Cups Grated Soap

1 Cup Borax

1 Cup Washing Soda

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl.

I store mine in a Mason Jar.

Use 1 to 2 TBS per load.

This detergent works very well, removes stains, AND smells fresh!

Dish Liquid Directions:

4 Cups Water

1/4 Cup Grated Soap

Melt in a pot on stove at medium heat.

Add 1 TBS of White Vinegar.

Let cool.

I also used a Mason jar for this and just pour a little at a time.

I read the detergent does not bubble. That is true. But it does still clean pretty well.

My friend made dish washing tablets. (We are not sure how it turned out yet. And liquid laundry detergent. May post recipes for those later too if they turn out well.)

This online app posts my pictures out of order, but I can talk type my blogs while I do laundry our dry dishes....so it is worth it.)

Pace Eggs

This year, for Easter, we decided to try a traditional egg dye, using onion skins.

We chose to use mostly red skins to symbolize the blood of Jesus shed on the cross. We talked about it and I reiterated why it is so important.

Here is what you need:

A Dozen Eggs (Brown eggs are best, but white eggs turn out pretty too.)

Onion Skins (You can use any color.)

Tin Foil (Some people use string.)

Boiling Water

Butter (optional)

We just grabbed a bunch of onion skins from the bottom of the crate at the fruit stand. They let us have them for free. (So did Ingles and WalMart.)

To start, just randomly cover the eggs with onion skins. Then cover with tinfoil. (This was hard for me because it didn't seem to tightly wrap the eggs. I just didn't know how it would work, but it does.)

Gently place in the eggs in the water. (The water will turn brown and it kind of stinks, but it is worth it!)

We boiled them for 15 minutes, let them cool, then took them out and unwrapped them. (The dye stained the plate we used, so you have to be careful what you put them on.)

You can dry them and rub butter on them to get a shiny finish. We did half and half. I like them both ways.

The eggs turned out Beautiful! And DD said she enjoyed dying eggs that way as opposed to using commercial dye. That made me happy to hear because I felt like the history and meaning behind it was a lesson in itself.

Now that we know what we are doing, we will try different foods next year . I know we can use beet root water and the skins to other foods. I have even heard flowers.

Organic Dining

We have recently switched to buying all-organic groceries. (We bought mostly natural/organic before, but also bought some was not.) We finally decided to go all in. We can't really afford to shop at Earth Fare on a $250.00 monthly budget, not considering how much we eat, although we would LOVE to, so we have had to learn to pull from our resources, which has caused us to have to sacrifice some foods that we really like but can't find with an "organic label."

DH and his friends hunt, so we get deer and turkey meat from that. We now own chickens (free range) and we get eggs from them. We want to invest in a cow for beef and milk, but for now we buy natural meats and organic milk from Ingles. All our produce from the local fruit stand. And everything else from WalMart. If you look hard enough you can find all natural condiments, canned foods, and even things like cheese and beef broth at WalMart.

I really enjoy cooking from scratch, and something about knowing our food is pure and healthy, that is even better.

Meal time and grocery shopping runs a lot smoother now, thanks to the meal planning app I downloaded. With one meatless meal and two crockpot dinners a week, it is a little hard to think up meals we haven't recently had, so this helps make things less stressful.

I usually begin preparing dinner during DD's quiet time. I use that time to get everything out, chopped up, mixed, etc And afterward I can go outside for some quiet/nature time and read my Bible (app-lol), pray, or think. Oh my, I Love pretty weather. It is good for my mental health. Getting off track here....After quiet time, DD helps cook, clean, and set the table. I Love family dinners! I honestly think that is essential in keeping our family close because DH is at work all day. It gives us time to focus on each other and talk. Off track again...

These are some of the meals I have recently made.

Loaded Baked Potato Soup

Ingredients:

Stuffed Pepper Cups

Ingredients:

1 Pound Ground Beef

3 Large Green Peppers

Taco Seasoning Recipe

Refried Beans

Rice

Cheese

Directions:

This is a simple recipe. First prepare your seasoning, brown your beef/mix in seasoning and water, boil your rice, and heat up the beans.

Then cut the top portion of the pepper off and pull the core and seeds out. Boil the pepper for 5 minutes.

Once you get the pepper out of the water, fill it with your ingredients. Rice first, then beans, beef, and top generously with cheese. Put in the oven at 250 degrees, long enough to melt the cheese. Then it is ready to serve.

No sides are required since they are all in the peppers, but we like to do corn anyway.

Chicken and Red Potatoes

Ingredients:

1 Pound of Chicken

5 medium Red Potatoes

McCormick's All Natural Chicken and Red Potatoes Seasoning

Apple Juice or White Wine

Directions:

Prepare by cutting up the chicken and slicing potatoes into chucks.

Put in a container with seasoning and apple juice and shake, or mix in a bowl.
Cook thoroughly on medium in a pan.

Serve.

We has fresh green beans and rice as sides.

*s

Be An Encouraging Family

I have found, especially over the last year that a little bit of encouragement goes a long way. I attended my first Save One Post Abortive Bible Study last Fall. (Initial reason was for training purposes, to lead our group, but found a lot of healing and spiritual growth also.) I learned a lot about how to use the Bible. You heard me, I have never learned to properly use a Bible. I became very familiar with it and wanted to start making The Word more prominent in our Home. After all, I am my daughter's primary caregiver and therefore her primary influence. Here are a few things that I have found that make our house a better Home:

1. I have found it to be an amazing mood lifter when I post encouraging scriptures around the house, especially on our refrigerator. Everybody uses the refrigerator. When I feel like one of us is facing a certain problem, I will pick scripture specifically meant for that issue. My 4 year old has had problems expressing her anger in health ways, so I posted this one for her yesterday, "Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool." Ecclesiastes 7:9 And we read and talked about it. If I do not feel like anyone is in need of encouragement, I will pick one that tugs at my heart. Today's, as pictured below, is about Love. I really feel that my Husband and I have become a lot closer over the years, going on 6 years this year. I know that doesn't sound like a lot. And it isn't. This is just the beginning. But 5-1/2 of those 6 years have been filled with learning to live together, raising a child together, healing with our struggles about Lucy-together, dealing with my OCD-together...I would say we have learned to walk Together pretty well. I still get excited when he tells me he is coming home. And I still look forward to kissing him, cuddling with him, and hearing about his day, and that has really been on my mind lately, that I need to continually remind him-tell him and show him-I Love him, as to not take advantage of him being there, which is why I picked 1 Corinthians 13:4. Because it tells us What Love Is.

 

2. I have also found it helpful to leave out things I find in magazines or online with simple quotes. I found one yesterday in my Better Homes and Gardens magazine. It says, "AWAY is a place where it's not about the money you spend. It's about the moments you share." This was actually an RV advertisement, but I chose to post it because we Love to camp and spend time together around the fire. Recently, my car motor blew up and we are having to use all our extra money to fix it, which means no vacation like we planned. I was pretty down about it for awhile, but then my Husband reminded me it doesn't matter how far we go, but that we make memories together as a family, so we will make sure to do twice as much camping this year. :)

3. Compliments, sometimes, in the business of life, we forget to take time for our "other half," at least I know I have. I'm not talking about settling down after a busy day to talk or read together. I am talking about maintenance in marriage, upkeep, like getting your oil changed on your car-giving them compliments, making sure they know they are important. I like to make it a point to say at least 5 nice things a day to my Husband. (And zero negative, if I can.) (I am the same with my daughter, but have never struggled with finding nice things to her, because most of us don't get in the habit of being negative towards our children.) Even if it is just an, "I Love You." "You are a hard worker." or "I really like your hair today." I like to make sure I say SOMETHING to lift him up and let him know that I think highly of him, as the leader of our family, and that is why I am with him.

These small changes have made a big difference in out Home over the last 6 months. Everybody is happier all around. And there is so much more positivity in the air. More encouragement. We are able to work through big challenges better. It is better for me, for my marriage, and for my family. I hope that we are able to continue this habit. It has been contagious to the people who are around us a lot, which results in better relationships with others too!

I will try to add more later...But it is time for Family Game Night now. ;)